Silence in the Exam

The toughest thing about a tough time is God’s silence.

Have you ever noticed that just when you need Him most, He seems to disappear?

I have. It seems to me that many times when I’m in a tight place and want to ask Him a lot of questions, He isn’t there to answer them. At these times silence is the only answer to my prayers.

Well, I heard something about that silence at a conference in North Carolina recently. It filled me with joy.

What I heard was: The teacher doesn’t talk during the exam.

This means that God’s silence is NOT a sign that we have been abandoned by Him. And it isn’t a sign that He is angry with us either, or anything else like that.

It is a sign that we are going through the exam!

God’s silence is simply so I can take the test.

And that means that God is in the process of seeing – or showing me – how well I can use the truths He has been teaching me. And since God is supervising the test, I can stop worrying about the outcome and start looking into what He has already taught me for the solutions.

Imagine. The reacher doesn’t talk during the exam.

That thought still brings shivers of delight. From the moment I heard it I knew it was true.

First, I knew from my own experience as a teacher, which may have happened years ago, but is still very vivid. That IS the way things are in the world of education.

Then, suddenly, joyfully, I understood from my own experiences of being tested by God – which are neither distant nor dim – that this is the way things are in the Kingdom of Heaven as well.

I have known for a long time that God tests us. But somehow it had never crossed my mind that He would act like a teacher.

I didn’t talk to my students when I was supervising a test. And when God is giving me a test, He doesn’t talk either.

Years ago, when I was a classroom teacher and was giving a test, I wouldn’t respond to questions about the test itself or give clues to the answer. Oh, I might give instructions or say something like, “You have 20 minutes to complete this section,” but nothing more.

I wasn’t being hard on them or mean. I knew I had covered in class the material included in the test. I knew that if my students had been paying attention during class and had done their homework, they would know the answers. All they had to do was use what they already knew and they would pass the test.

The same thing is true for God’s tests.

God does all the human teacher does – and does it better. He teaches us what we need to know for our course – whether you call it discipleship, being shaped into the image of His Son or learning to live like Jesus.

His textbooks are the Bible, the wise words of those who know and walk with Him and the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit. Our classroom is the world.

Then, every so often, He tests us. And we either pass or fail the test.

We may not like them, but tests are necessary.

Tests show the students – and the disciples – how well they have mastered the material being covered in the course. They also make clear what has not yet been learned and must be gone over again.

Of course, God always forgives us when we fail a test.

I’ve known that ever since I knew anything about Him. What I do not always remember – at least not well enough to live my life by it – is that He wants more than repeated failure and forgiveness. He desires our growth in understanding and skill in discipleship.

God forgives. But He does not stop there. He is teaching us how to live in he Kingdom so He isn’t about to let us off with simply being sorry for failing the same test over and over again. He has provided for something more.

Even if we pass the test, He will re-test and re-test.

The reason He does is because He wants obedience. He wants us to do what He has told us to do.

Not to gain salvation. To show we love Him, to make us like Him, to set us free to enjoy the resurrection now.

I have to confess that I have usually had a very negative emotional response to God’s silences. I have felt alternately afraid and angry, as if He had betrayed me or abandoned me, leaving me to face the pain, loneliness, shame or sorrow all by myself.

Now I will try to remember that the teacher does not talk during the exam.

With that in mind, I should be able to see my test failures simply as missed opportunities for obedience and not as proof of my unteachable character. Then I should be much more willing to get up and try again.