While driving over to have breakfast with John, I suddenly realized the name of my malady. It is Discontent!
I’ve had a bad case of this for several weeks now, if not longer. But in the last few days it has really begun to take me over. All I can think about is how this is not right and that is wrong.
But with my attention diverted by paying attention to my driving, a thought arose from my subconscious – or somewhere -- that my problem has a name and it is Discontent.
I don’t think I discovered that. I think it was revealed to me.
Meaning , I was being given the change to deal with it and not just keep on grumbling things like:
“My memory is shot. I spend too much time going back for things I’ve forgotten!”
“I don’t know what to say. If I say anything, it comes out wrong. I just make a mess of it.”
“All these people have problems and want to tell me about them and I’m tired of listening.”
And on and on and on. And these are only the “nice” ones.
So I took a look at what Discontent was hiding:
“God, You really haven’t been doing a good job for me lately.”
Wow. That’s what I’ve really been saying. And that really isn’t what I want to say.
Let’s try again.
“I sure do forget a lot, but I remember more than I forget. And I am physically able to go back for the stuff I’ve forgotten. And when I see it, I know what it is and what it’s for. Not so bad after all.”
“I don’t know what to say. Maybe silence is the right thing here. Maybe if I think a bit before I talk, I won’t say so many foolish things. Thank goodness I already know I can be wrong!”
“When people tell me their problems, I don’t have to have the answer. As a friend reminded me one day, the name of the Savior is Jesus, not Barbara. Listening can be all that is required. Really listening, not waiting for the other person to stop so I can start.”
When I think about it, I do trust God to be doing very well by me. Of course, God’s definition of good may not match mine sometimes. I can’t see far enough ahead to realize it. But, well, He’s God and I’m not. And He has proved faithful in the past.
And I really like my second set of thoughts better. I like me better in them.
I suspect I will fall back into discontent again, because it’s an old enemy. But for the moment, I see it for what it is and I choose to turn it around and show it the door.
It’s not just playing Pollyanna. It’s letting the Lord have His way instead of insisting on my own.
While driving over to have breakfast with John, I suddenly realized the name of my malady. It is Discontent!
I’ve had a bad case of this for several weeks now, if not longer. But in the last few days it has really begun to take me over. All I can think about is how this is not right and that is wrong.
But with my attention diverted by paying attention to my driving, a thought arose from my subconscious – or somewhere -- that my problem has a name and it is Discontent.
I don’t think I discovered that. I think it was revealed to me.
Meaning , I was being given the change to deal with it and not just keep on grumbling things like:
“My memory is shot. I spend too much time going back for things I’ve forgotten!”
“I don’t know what to say. If I say anything, it comes out wrong. I just make a mess of it.”
“All these people have problems and want to tell me about them and I’m tired of listening.”
And on and on and on. And these are only the “nice” ones.
So I took a look at what Discontent was hiding:
“God, You really haven’t been doing a good job for me lately.”
Wow. That’s what I’ve really been saying. And that really isn’t what I want to say.
Let’s try again.
“I sure do forget a lot, but I remember more than I forget. And I am physically able to go back for the stuff I’ve forgotten. And when I see it, I know what it is and what it’s for. Not so bad after all.”
“I don’t know what to say. Maybe silence is the right thing here. Maybe if I think a bit before I talk, I won’t say so many foolish things. Thank goodness I already know I can be wrong!”
“When people tell me their problems, I don’t have to have the answer. As a friend reminded me one day, the name of the Savior is Jesus, not Barbara. Listening can be all that is required. Really listening, not waiting for the other person to stop so I can start.”
When I think about it, I do trust God to be doing very well by me. Of course, God’s definition of good may not match mine sometimes. I can’t see far enough ahead to realize it. But, well, He’s God and I’m not. And He has proved faithful in the past.
And I really like my second set of thoughts better. I like me better in them.
I suspect I will fall back into discontent again, because it’s an old enemy. But for the moment, I see it for what it is and I choose to turn it around and show it the door.
It’s not just playing Pollyanna. It’s letting the Lord have His way instead of insisting on my own.
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